Added: Kennita Gorski - Date: 15.03.2022 01:29 - Views: 40407 - Clicks: 9646
Posted on April 14, by Paul Byerly. Years ago Lori and I were meeting with a woman about her troubled marriage. This was a bit of a shock as neither of us would have pegged her as particularly sexual or willing to Wanting to be ravished open about her sexuality. She was also clear it was, in her mind, the best sex she had ever had. The only problem was he never did it again. I must now stand corrected on both counts. We did a survey on this a while back, and the were very interesting.
I should note our survey population is more sex-positive than the average church going woman, so that has some effect. Half of the women had experienced their husband taking them. What was really interesting is how being ravished changed women sexually. A majority of the women said they wanted to be ravished or ravished again. However, men were less given to wanting to try it. Nearly a quarter were concerned about how their wife would take it. If being taken sounds like fun to you, I suggest you tell your husband. Once you established some ground rules, tell him you hope he will take you some time, and then wait and see.
Category: Uncategorized. It would also seem to violate the spirit of how the new testament encourages men to deal with the wives e. She is a very strong willed woman and I am a very passive man — you know — go with the flow.
The trouble with ravishing is there can be such a fine line between doing it right and doing it wrong, with it being SO much easier to end up on the wrong side vs. The one time I took my wife that it worked out, it was completely spontaneous. But there have been a few other times that I tried to plan it, and it was very awkward.
A safeword should be something simple, easy to remember even if one is in great distress, but not something one might say ordinarily during sex and thus be mistaken for roleplay. This kind of sex is good if and ONLY if everyone involved has given full consent beforehand, and feels safe enough to trust that their partner will respect whatever boundaries have been laid out.
Otherwise, yes, you could very well cross the line inadvertently. That is a valid fear, and a good healthy one to have, I think. Since the presidential election, sex triggers traumatic memories for me. Speaking as another XY from years in a sexless marriage as well I have some interesting reactions to this post. Like Amazing Ace suggests, this sort of activity needs a measure of preliminary discussion so that it can be engaged in properly while still preserving and respecting the need for consent and safety.
I like and want her to give me the positive cues that she wants me to continue. It is interesting how common the rape fantasy seems to be among women, even though it is pretty clear that women do not want to really have non-consensual sex. Do you think your survey made and adequate distinction between women who fantasize about being ravished and those who really and truly want to be taken? Perhaps this is part of why it is a common fantasy or desire, but less common in actual practice. In a loving marriage, I think more along the lines of passionate desire.
Like my husband grabbing me or embracing me with passion, kissing me with passion, making Wanting to be ravished to me with passion. Not force, just extreme passionate desire like he cannot get enough of me.
One definition I found says to be ravished is being overcome with intense emotion joy ; being filled with intense delight. This is how I see it. With all the not so perfect sex life issues we have I gripe about here, one thing I am glad of in our marriage is that the default is yes to sex now.
The answer usually is yes unless someone says no. This opens our marriage bed up to the ability to ravish each other. Amy libl — Interesting most of the men are unsure what the word means while you two got my meaning. I may need to add a definition to my post on this for the gents. Just checked, I think I described it well to the men. They are told to never sexually advance on a woman unless she explicitly agrees.
Now, they are married to low libido wives and face the dilemma of her not explicitly agreeing to sexual advances because of her libido and he not wanting to come across as a sexual jerk. I gave my husband permission to kiss me, hug me, hold me, have sex with me, grope me, fondle me, etc when he put that ring on my finger. But there are those who would be unhappy about most of it. Weird world we live in. I mean, that is great! I think most people like to have a choice in the matter. Take that away, and what is left? I guess I just. Amazing Ace — I see a much Wanting to be ravished issue here — one that goes way beyond sex.
When I married Lori I made a of promises and commitments to her. That included ificant access to me — my time, my thoughts, my support, my love, and my body. Because I love her I push beyond what I feel. I care about her and her needs, and that moves me beyond myself. Case in Point: Yesterday afternoon Lori was going for a walk and asked if I wanted to her. So I said yes, and we went for a walk. I enjoyed the time with her and getting out did me good.
You said so yourself. But all that aside, none of that invalidates my point. For myself, at least, I would not desire someone to be with me, to share their love, time, thoughts, and support with me, out of obligation. I would much rather someone choose freely to share those things with me because they WANT to, not because they feel that they have to and have no real choice in the matter.
You see? You used the word obligation, which is far too strong. As I said, I made a choice when I married her. That choice was based on me wanting to love and care for her. My obligation is self-imposed because of my love. The fact that it is self imposed does not negate the fact that what you are describing IS an obligation. I want to read this book instead. But thanks for inviting me, I do appreciate it. Your living arraignment is quite small, so I understand. Both courses of action are OKAY. Amazing Ace — You took the first half of my sentence and replaced the comma with a period, removing the clarification.
What is so difficult to understand? You have free will. As I said before, if that works for you, fine. I was actually a little shocked when I read the comments from some of your male readers about needing to be careful, etc. The other is anything but loving. And 2 perhaps the men who seem to view ravishing as akin to forcing themselves on their Wanting to be ravished have a wife who has a low libido and so a husband in that situation may be hesitant to ravish their wives for fear of being turned down, once again.
Amy, please add this thought to your possibilities above: some women find that they are not high-drive, or low-drive, they are responsive-drive. I had much more desire when DH acted like he wanted me. When he started expecting sex as a given because we were married, and he stopped showing desire for me, then I lost interest.
If you think about it, if marriage is supposed to represent the relationship of Christ and the church, we only love him because he loved us first. The bride is responsive.
Christ is the primary pursuer. Then, when we respond to His pursuing of us, we begin to pursue Him as well. I am positive some of the mixed als and reactions to posts like this comes from the associations with the word. I think a good way to incorporate this into the marriage bed is for a husband or wife to just suddenly ramp up the passion while already kissing in the kitchen or cuddling in bed. Many women saying that this helps or would help them to enjoy sex more, versus some of the men saying that they would never do this because their wife is low desire.
Chicken or the egg? Can lead to a downward spiral. Sure, there may be some women who have an unusual fetish or rape fantasy. Wanting not to just have sex, but to feel desired. I wonder if in some cases it has to do with personality types; those that introvert or extravert their feeling function.
Introverted feelers may have difficulty sharing their passion and desire openly. T — The whole showing desire can also be a problem.Wanting to be ravished
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How do you ravish someone?